


Gone Like A Breath

by MostlyOnline



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Death, Footprints AU, Gift Fic, Grief, M/M, Strangulation, oedipus complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 15:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MostlyOnline/pseuds/MostlyOnline
Summary: It had happened too fast.  Vitaly couldn’t remember anything, just a whirlwind of malice that coursed through him then…nothing.





	Gone Like A Breath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [childofhebe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofhebe/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Footprints](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597248) by [Kashoku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashoku/pseuds/Kashoku). 



> Merry Christmas Hebe! Boy was this a challenge! I hope you like it, I combined your two favorite things which is 1) No FP!Phichit and 2) Angst. 
> 
> I know you're probably happy that Phichit dies but I hope the angst comes from the aftermath. Anyways, enjoy!

“You’re not good for them,”

Vitaly turned around to face the owner of the voice, irritation and anger tensing his body.  He didn’t say a word back at the beta who stood opposite of him with fierce determination in his eyes.  It was just them in the house, maybe it was intentional on Phichit’s part but foolish all the same.  He could confront Vitaly without getting stopped by Yuuri or the children who would surely go to Vitaly’s defense, especially with such blunt words.

“You’re a poison to this family.  You’re sick and they don’t need you around spreading your illness.  You must know what kind of pain you put your mother through with your line of work.  He worries about you constantly.  It’s taking a toll on him, don’t you see it?  Do you even know how many nights he’s stayed up waiting for you?  Or crying because he thinks the worst has happened?  And then you have the indecency to bring your ‘ _work_ ’ into the house…the house where your sister plays in the next room, where your mother grew up?  You think that’s the kind of environment they want to live in?” Phichit paused, giving Vitaly room for response.

“I am protecting them.  More than you ever could.  Don’t you dare talk like you know how I think or what I do.  You don’t know me and you don’t care and frankly, that’s fine.  I don’t care for you either.  We play nice for mother, so if its anyone disturbing the peace around here it is clearly _you_.”

“You’re calling your life peaceful?  You?  Don’t make me laugh.  You think you’re protecting them but you’re wrong!  You think you know what’s best for them but you don’t!  And it’s all a matter of time until you do something that hurts this family and I won’t let you….  You spent your whole life trying to distance yourself from your father but you know what?  You’re just like him.”  Vitaly was on him in an instant, knocking the smaller man to the ground with his full weight behind him.  The beta was easily pinned to the ground, arms locked in place with a death grip that couldn’t be broken.  

“Shut.  Up.” Vitaly glared, darkness shading his eyes.

“I know you love him,” Phichit gave him a pitiful smile.  Even with Vitaly on top of him he still found the courage to speak. “You love Yuuri in the same way I do.  He loves you too, more than you could ever know, but he’ll never love you like that.”  Tears stung Vitaly’s eyes and in an instant, everything went black.

 

It was a familiar darkness, a sea of black that swallowed him whole.  All he could feel was pain and sorrow seeping into his core.  Tension.  Tension.  Tension.  Claws shackling themselves around his arms and throat, digging into his skin and leaving red welts in their wake.  He was undeterred, however, and kept his body as still as stone.  The sea threatened to throw him and twist his body this way and that but he fought for balance in the thrashing waves.  

 

Release.

 

Vitaly finally resurfaced, ears ringing as the world came back into focus.  It took him a while to calm down, and a while longer to remember what happened… To remember that he was still on top of Phichit.  His wide-eyes met Phichit’s distant half-lidded ones; the lifeless gaze of a deadman.

He knew the answer but had to check.  Vitaly placed one ear to his chest and listened.  No heartbeat and no breathing.  It wouldn’t matter if Vitaly called an ambulance now or tried to revive him, it was already too late.

Vitaly stood up only to collapse back, shaking with the realization of what he had just done, who he just murdered in his family’s home.  He took a few deep breaths, quelling his trembles enough to fish his phone out of his pocket.  Now wasn’t the time for reflection, he could do that after everything was taken cared of.

 

“Katsuki?” Nobuo answered

“Nobuo… I need you.  I just…I did something and...fuck…it’s bad.  I fucked up,” Vitaly ran a hand through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut tight.  

“…Is there a body?” Nobuo’s tone turned serious

“Yeah,” Vitaly looked up, Phichit’s lifeless eyes staring into his, “I’m at home.”

“Be there in ten, wait in the back for me.” with that Nobuo hung up, leaving Vitaly alone in the overwhelming silence.

 

———————————————————————————————————————

  


Phichit was light to carry, wrapped in an old sheet that Vitaly was sure no one would miss.  Vitaly waited in the cool night air, on edge even though his attempts to calm himself down.  He didn’t know when his family would be back tonight but he prayed to any god that would listen to give him a little more time to move the body.  

The sound of gravel crunching from approaching footsteps pulled Vitaly from his thoughts.  His body tensed defensively out of instinct, adrenaline still lingering in his veins.  “Katsuki, it’s me,” Nobuo called in a hushed voice.  He almost ran into the alpha when he rounded the corner of the building. “I have the car in front…who is it?” the beta spotted the cloaked body

“…Phichit,” Vitaly said softly

“Oh fuck, are you serious?  The Thai guy?  Jesus, Katsuki I didn’t think you would ever…” Nobuo let the shock pass through him before shaking his head, “Well, better him than you.  Can you carry him by yourself?” Nobuo asked.  This wasn’t the first time he had to dump a body, and it wouldn’t be the last.  He had to treat this too just like another job.  Vitaly hoisted the body over his shoulder and followed Nobuo out to the front where the car waited.  

“He didn’t attack me…physically.  But just something inside me snapped when he was telling me off” Vitaly shut his eyes at the memory.

“If he hit all your buttons then really he dug his own grave,” Nobuo popped the trunk open, helping Vitaly lower Phichit’s body in.  Vitaly was unusually stoic and still.  Nobuo caught him staring into the trunk, like at any moment Phichit’s chest would rise and fall.

“…Do you want him found?” Nobuo closed the trunk, snapping Vitaly back into focus

“I think that would be best…for mom,” Vitaly looked down to the ground, like a small child would if he got caught red handed.  Nobuo couldn’t help but pity him.

“What are you going to do now?” Nobuo asked, to which Vitaly shrugged.

“Be there for them when they find out,”

 

It was the best he could do.

 

———————————————————————————————————————

 

After Nobuo left, Vitaly finally had the time to survey the situation.  Fortunately, nothing in the house suggested signs of a struggle.  Vitaly, however, had his arms, neck, and face covered in scratches and nail impressions.  Phichit had fought with all his might to get the alpha off, it seems.  He didn’t feel them, at least not when they happened.  The deeper cuts stung a little in the water of the bath but it was a familiar burn.  It wasn’t uncommon for him to come home battered and bruised.  His mother never said anything about it but it showed in his eyes the way that he worried about him.  

 

His mother.

 

He couldn’t begin to imagine how Yuuri would take the news or, God forbid, how he would react to Vitaly if he found out.  If his siblings and extended family found out.  He took away something precious to them.  Aiko...oh sweet Aiko who called Phichit papa because he was all she ever knew.  She would never forgive him and she would be in the right to do so.  His head throbbed dully with the stress.  He had killed before countless times but now it was different.  It was personal and affected the ones that he loved.  The unfamiliar anxiety crashed down on him in waves, threatening to drown him completely.

Call it emotional exhaustion or the one too many painkillers Vitaly took, but sleep easily took him and he passed out on the couch.

 

Vitaly didn’t have dreams, he had nightmares.  Tonight was no different.  In his dream, they were back in Russia, Aiko too even though the girl had never stepped foot in the country.  The icy wind wailed outside but the screaming was all too commonplace for anyone to notice.  But not the yelling.  It was the distinct voice of his mother and the voice he hadn’t heard in a long time, but would never forget.  His siblings cowered in the corner of the room, Alyona and Yulian covering their ears and tucking their knees into their chests.  Everyone was younger, closer to Aiko’s age though the girl still appeared her age in his dream.  Vitaly didn’t join his siblings, instead choosing to find the location of the voices.  He couldn’t tell what was being said, why his mother was upset or why his father was angry, but did he really ever have a reason to be?  

Vitaly burst into his father’s study, his mother’s eyes immediately finding him from where he was pinned against the desk.  His clothes were ripped to shreds while Viktor laid on top of him, hips moving between his mother’s legs.  His father didn’t even acknowledge him, not when Vitaly ran into the room, not when Vitaly picked a letter opener off the table, and not when Vitaly pierced it into VIktor’s back.  

The man collapsed to the side, freeing Yuuri from the weight beared down on him.  Vitaly offered his hand to help Yuuri but instead he flinched away, eyes horror struck.

“You’re a monster!” Yuuri cried, pushing Vitaly away with all his strength and bolting out the room.  Before Vitaly could give chase, a hand caught his ankle and pulled him down.  Vitaly was frozen as his father crawled over him, blood dripping down and staining his clothes.  Viktor only smiled, blue eyes reflecting Vitaly’s horrified ones.

“Just like me,”

———————————————————————————————————————

 

“Vitalik?  Vitalik…” a warm voice called to him, pulling him away from the depths of sleep.  Vitaly blinked twice, eyes finding his mother’s face in the soft glow of the room.

“Mama?” Vitaly felt panic, hoping that his anxiety didn’t show on his face

“Baby, did something happen?” Yuuri ran a hand across his son’s face, pushing messy bed hair away from his eyes.  Vitaly’s stomach drop at the question, Yuuri reacted with grabbing his bond mark.  How much had he felt tonight? “I’ve been feeling nothing but pain, it’s worrying me.”

“Oh, uh, sorry…” Vitaly swallowed down his dry throat.  It was never easy for him to lie to his kind mother.

“Don’t be sorry, Vitasha.  Tell me...what’s wrong?” Yuuri asked, stroking Vitaly’s face softly.  The question formed a tight lump in his throat.  He felt like a child in that moment.  There was something nostalgic about his mother next to his bedside, cooing softly to him and promising that everything would be alright.

 

But it wasn’t.  It would never be.

 

“Do you think I’m like him?” the words fell out before Vitaly had time to catch them.  Yuuri’s hand stilled completely.

“Vitalik...look at me,” Yuuri helped his son up into a sitting position, leaning forward until they were touching foreheads.  “You are _nothing_ like him.  Nothing.  Do you understand?” Vitaly blinked back tears and nodded.

“Say it out loud,” Yuuri’s voice turned softer with his eyes

“I’m nothing like him,” Vitaly repeated back but he couldn’t believe his words himself.  The yakuzaa and bratva.  The business he chooses to conduct and the people he associates with… The pain that he inflicts on his family.  But Yuuri didn’t see that side of him, or at least he chose not to.  He didn’t know if it helped or hurt him.  At least in this moment he had his mother’s warmth to comfort him.

“Have you seen, Phichit,” Yuuri asked

“I...he left,” Vitaly’s eyes turned downward.  The truth he could not say stayed behind tight lips.

“Oh… Do you know when he’ll be back?” Vitaly shook his head

“Vitalik...where did these scratches come from?”

———————————————————————————————————————

 

The evening after, Yuuri filed a missing person’s report and some officers came by to question him.  They seemed to have recognized Vitaly but said nothing.  Aiko cried that night, saying that she missed her papa and that she hoped he would come home soon.  It felt like a knife was being driven into Vitaly’s heart.

Three days later, the police officers returned with a grave look on their faces.  Yuuri knew immediately what the news was but sat down with them anyways.  Vitaly watched from the hall and listened closely.  He heard _strangulated_ and _beach yesterday morning_.  Yuuri didn’t cry once.  The light was gone from his eyes and he remained still.  Somehow it was worse than if he had just broke down sobbing but Vitaly suspected that his tears were being saved for later.  He could feel the overwhelming sorrow.  He didn’t need a bond mark for him to know that the news...that he had shattered his mother’s heart.  

Yuuri sat at the table for a long after the officers left.  He didn’t even look at Vitaly when he sat down next to him, or took his hands into his.  Vitaly opened his mouth to say something but was quickly dismissed when Yuuri abruptly stood up and walked away without a word.  Vitaly knew why, of course, Yuuri didn’t cry in front of his children.  He was strong and stubborn in that way.  Vitaly let his mother go, allowing them both space to grieve.  

The second Yuuri locked himself in his room, Vitaly let out a shuddering gasp.  For the first time since he was a child, he cried.  Part of it was the bond overflowing with melancholy and the other was his own overwhelming guilt.  He broke his own promise to never inflict pain on his family but look where he was now.  Crying and hiccuping as his mother did...as Aiko will…

 

Aiko…

 

“Onii-chan, what’s wrong?” Aiko dropped her backpack and hurried to her brother.  The universe was surely punishing him.  He wiped his eyes with a sleeve, turning away from the girl when she got too close.  He didn’t know if his mother wanted her to know but it’s not like they could shield her from it.  The town was small and gossip spread like wildfire, especially in a place like the onsen. Vitaly took a deep breath in before taking both his sister’s hands into his.  He looked into her eyes,

 

“Your papa is gone.  He isn’t coming back.  Papa has died,”

Tears ran down her face like raindrops.  Her face contorted with pain that she had never felt before.  This was her first experience with death, the pain shattered her heart.  Aiko collapsed against her brother instantly, wailing as the news sunk in.  Her small body convulsed and Vitaly held her through it with the same hands that he had wrapped around Phichit’s throat.  He could never tell them.  He could never confess to being the one who ripped away someone so precious to them.  Aiko’s tears soaked through his shirt and she clung to him tightly, repeatedly crying out for her papa.  He always, always came running to her when she cried and always bounced her up in his arms, not letting her down until she laughed.  To think that he would never do that, that she would never see him again, was too much.

Vitaly held her until she had cried herself to sleep in his arms.  Even in her dreams, her tears still fell with a shuddering breath that shook her body.  He tucked her into her own bed, lingering a while to stroke her hair and watch her sleep.  His bond still radiated with a throbbing pain, the alpha side of him demanded that he checked on Yuuri though he doubts his mother wanted to be seen right now.

He closed Aiko’s door softly as he left.  He debated but ultimately decided that it would be best to check on Yuuri.  To his surprise, Yuuri was up and sitting in the living room with a heavy book on the low table.  His eyes were puffy under his glasses that rested on his red nose and flushed cheeks.  Tears still fell from his face but he was quick to wipe them away before they hit the pages.  Yuuri didn’t look up but allowed Vitaly to approach and sit across from him.  They sat quietly for a minute, Yuuri being the first to break the silence.

“When I was first taken, Phichit was the only thing that kept me alive and hopeful, did you know that?” Yuuri flipped a page, Vitaly could now see that it was a photo album.  His mother looked to be around Vitaly’s age.  He was smiling wide in all of them, happier than Vitaly had ever seen him.  Some were at an ice rink, some obviously post-competition with Yuuri in the Kiss and Cry, and all of them with Phichit.  It was a gift the beta had given Yuuri one year and Yuuri’s heart had melted.  He spent hours flipping through the pages and telling his children the stories attached to each picture.  The album wasn’t completely full, the back of the last full page had a note that promised that there would be more memories to make.

“I was afraid at first...when we came back to Japan that Phichit would be scared off...or would be different than what I remembered.  But he wasn’t.” A few droplets splashed onto the page, Yuuri absently cleared them off before flipping a new page.  “He was still so kind...He accepted all of you in a way that I don’t think many people could have for children that weren’t theirs.  It wasn’t perfect...it wasn’t the family I always dreamed of having...but it was close.”  Yuuri’s caressed a picture of all of them together.  It was taken about a week after Aiko was born.  The baby was held between Yuuri and Phichit in the middle with Vitaly and his siblings standing around them.  Even Vitaly had a slight smile on his face.

“I know...I know that you two didn’t get along but I always thought it was because it was hard for you to let people in and Phichit is…” Yuuri paused, a sob wracking his body “...was a naturally touchy and close person...  And I didn’t do anything to stop it…” Yuuri took off his glasses as his body trembled.  His sobs were the only sound that filled the room, Vitaly couldn’t do anything but watch with each cry cutting deeper into him.

“Vitalik...those scratches you had a few days ago…” Yuuri took a deep breath, “I know what they are...how you get them…your father would come home with them sometimes.  He would practically flaunt them and describe it in vivid detail...how people fought for a lungful of air when they were dying...” Vitaly’s blood ran cold.  He couldn’t breathe.  Yuuri closed the book with a hand lingering on it as if the moment he let go of it, it would disappear forever.

“Vitalik, please tell me…” Yuuri looked up, lightless eyes gazing into Vitaly’s. “Did you kill him?”

 

Time stopped.  

 

Tension pulled Vitaly’s body tighter and tighter.  It threatened to break him.  To break him apart.  Yuuri remained expressionless.  He did not reach out to his son nor recoil from him.  Vitaly didn’t know whether lying or telling the truth would be better...for him or his family.  But he didn’t have time to think about that; to think if the only thing he held dear in this world would shun him or still welcome him into loving arms.  

 

He couldn’t.  He couldn’t… But he had to.

 

“I…”

**Author's Note:**

> Cliffhanger!
> 
> Make your own adventure, does he lie or spill? 
> 
> Anyways, thats enough angst for me! Hope you enjoyed~ Feel free to add on at the end with your own conclusions~


End file.
